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Theatre Reviews
by Jeniva Berger

| MOTHER OF THE BRIDE

Mother of the Bride

Keep in mind that it is your daughter's wedding. Traditionally, you use to be the orchestra leader of this magnificent symphony, but today you might just be a member of the audience. Still, depending upon the relationship and understanding of your daughter's wedding, it is your duty to assist in the planning and budgeting and to be there, especially when chaos is breaking loose, to keep things calm.

Mother's duties
Traditionally if it's a Bride's first wedding, the Mother of the Bride usually exerts a strong influence on the planning and budgeting of the wedding. The Bride's family often pays for the lion's share, especially in traditional and ethnic families. Of course today, duties that were once rigid wedding etiquette do's and don'ts are often shared.

Officially the Bride's parents announce the couple's engagement and include the wedding details if they are known. The announcement can be made at a party or dinner or in the newspaper. Announcements are never printed like invitations; they are handwritten.

With [or without] the father of the Bride, mom hosts an engagement party to announce the engagement of her/their daughter. The party is held at home, in a restaurant or other suitable place. Once the budget for the party is set and the number of guests is known, the mom is usually the keeper of the guest list. She is responsible for collecting lists from her daughter, the Groom and his parents as well as her own. She will also cross-reference the lists to make sure invitees don't receive two invitations.

Traditionally, mom usually hosts a Bridesmaids' Luncheon on behalf of the Bride. Invitations are extended to her attendants. grandmothers, Godmother and favourite aunts. The budget and logistics of the luncheon will depend on where it is held and whether it is formal or informal, and whether it is a luncheon at all! However, if it is a luncheon at someone's home, usually several of the adult women assist in preparing some favourite items for the menu. The luncheon is an opportune time for the bride to give her attendants their wedding party gift. For fun, there is a traditional bride's cake for dessert that has something symbolic baked into it, such as an inexpensive wedding band. It is said that the Bridesmaid who gets the item in her slice of cake, is the next one to marry!

The Bride's mother also assists in coordinating showers for her daughter. She attends the wedding rehearsal and attends the rehearsal dinner or get-together following the rehearsal, traditionally hosted by the Groom's mother or parents. If requested, the Mother of the Bride assists in compiling the invitation list.

At the Ceremony, the Mother of the Bride is escorted to her seat in the first row on the Bride's side. If the biological mother did not bring up the Bride, she is placed in the third row on the left side. At the reception, the mother of the Bride is the first one in the receiving line. She then introduces the Bride and Groom to guests who may not know them. The Mother of the Bride traditionally dances with the Groom following his first dance with his Bride.

After the wedding the Mother of the Bride hosts or co-hosts a brunch or lunch the day after the wedding, usually with the Groom's parents. This hospitality is especially welcome by out-of-town guests. If the wedding couple is still in town, they are the guests of honor and have an opportunity to open or look at some of their gifts.

Attire
The same rules apply to the mother as to the bride. You can buy a dress, rent it, make it or borrow it. Usually the Mother of the Bride selects the dress she is going to be wearing before the Groom's mother [so they both don't wear the same color]. The Bride's mother should coordinate her choice to conform to the wedding color theme. Her garment is never longer or more formal than her daughter's dress.

What's appropriate:
• Formal evening - a long dress with or without a hat, veil, hair accessories or gloves.
• After-five - cocktail dress or an evening suit.
• Morning or before-five - dresses or suits with head covering [if desired]. Comfortable shoes or two pairs of shoes are recommended, one pair for the ceremony and photographs, the second pair if needed to change into for standing in the receiving line and the reception.

www.WeddingsHoneymoons.com | April 22, 2008

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