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| GROOM Ceremony

DIFFERENT TYPES OF CEREMONIES
There are many types of ceremonies - religious, civil, military, ecumenical and interfaith to name a few - and then anything else the bride and groom might invent. A ceremony can be performed in a house of worship or in a garden in your back yard; in a helicopter flying over Niagara Falls or underwater in the Caribbean. It can be performed anywhere your heart desires.

Once you've decided on what type of ceremony you want, seek out the appropriate clergy or officials. The type of ceremony you have chosen will probably dictate where you will be holding it. If you are being married in a civil ceremony, contact the marriage licence office at your city or town hall. That office will have a list of officials who can perform a marriage, such as justices of the peace.

Second marriage ceremonies range typically from religious to civil services and from candlelight to honeymoon weddings (where you are married at a particular location).

The Marriage Licence
To obtain a marriage licence a couple must usually apply at a city or town hall. The rules are very simple: there is a required legal age; some jurisdictions may require blood tests; if either one of the parties has been married, an original absolute divorce decree must be presented.

If you are getting married out of the country, get information in advance on the documentation you will need to obtain a marriage licence. See Destination Weddings on the Main Menu.

Following your marriage Ceremony, the officiant, the couple and two witnesses, usually the Maid of Honor and the Best Man, will sign the marriage certificate. The officiant will send a copy of the licence to city hall, one is mailed to the couple and the third is kept by the officiant.

A Religious Ceremony
Many religions perform wedding rituals, all with one objective - to celebrate the joyous occasion. Once you've decided to marry, make an appointment with your officiant to set the date and time. Be sure to ask for the guidelines for pre-marital preparation, vows, decorations, photographers, flowers and music.

If you don't belong to any house of worship or have a religious connection but want to be married by a person of the cloth, get in touch early with a chosen place of worship to obtain the guidelines and requirements that must be met before a date can be set. Most ceremonies follow this procedure:
• Music is played fifteen to thirty minutes before the guests arrive.
• Guests arrive before the bride makes her entrance.
• The Processional - the bride is escorted down the aisle.
• The Ceremony
• The couple and their witnesses sign the marriage licence.
• The Recessional - the bride and groom lead their wedding party up the aisle.

A Civil Ceremony
If you are planning to marry in a civil ceremony, the first thing to do is to obtain your marriage licence. You can make the actual civil ceremony as simple as you want. It is cost-effective, fast and uncomplicated, but most involve at least two other people beside the bride and groom. The Civil Ceremony is commonly used for second marriages and interfaith marriages where a religious ceremony might pose a problem.

Policies differ on who is allowed to perform civil marriage ceremonies. Call your local town or city hall and ask a clerk in the marriage department to send you the information, or visit the department yourself. Obtain a list of officials, including their phone numbers, who are legally empowered perform the marriage ceremony. A couple may have a religious ceremony after their civil one. Ask a member of your clergy for information.

Often couples hold a small reception for themselves and invite their family and friends to their home to celebrate their union. Gifts are appropriate.

Location
The location of your ceremony will set the tone of your wedding. Aside from traditional houses of worship, city halls and chapels in honeymoon spots, there are many locations in your own home town may be are quite unique, such as historic sites, private estates or mansions, rooftop restaurants or parks. Depending on the environment where you live, you could choose a beach site, a close-by winery or resort. Or maybe it's where you first met. There are all kinds of locations to choose from. Just keep those simple guidelines in mind when you judging a possible location site.
• Catering - in house or can you bring it in.
• Kitchen facilities - if you are bringing in catering, have your caterer check out the facility before you book the site.
• Staff support services provided by the house.
• Decor - existing and what you can provide yourself.
• Rules and guidelines of the place.
• Electrical outlets and microphones.
• Dressing rooms.
• Entertainment area.
• Linens.
• Any other bookings on the same day [for privacy reason or sharing costs on some items].
• Miscellaneous rentals required.
• Washrooms - You can categorize a place by its washrooms. Check accessibility for elderly and handicapped guests.

Vows
Traditional vows are standard to all religious ceremonies, but today, couples are reviewing those vows and many are writing their own messages of love and commitment. Your clergy or officiant will provide guidelines on the creative boundaries if you want to write your own.

Traditional Vows
Ask your clergy or officiant for a copy of their standard vows. After reading them decide if you want to write your own.

Do-it-yourself Vows
Vows can be spiritual or personal. Most are no more than five sentences or so - after all, it's a marriage, not a contract. Make sure your clergy or officiant has approved your vows before your wedding day.

Some Ideas:
• You might quote words from a song or a poem that are meaningful to you.
• You might write something original, telling how and when you fell in love and what you expect from your future lives together.
• Your might want to thank your family or friends on your special day.
• If this is your second marriage and you have children, you might want to include them in your vows.
• Remember to keep your vows clear, meaningful and simple.

Placing of the Rings
Following the exchange of vows, the placing of the rings takes place in either a single or double ring ceremony. The wedding band[s] symbolizes the devotion and union of the couple. If the ceremony is religious, the officiant will bless the rings.

The Maid of Honor and Best Man hold the rings for the bride and groom. If there is a Ring Bearer, usually a mock ring is pinned to his pillow. If the real ring is on this pillow, the Best Man takes it from the pillow when the Ring Bearer reaches the end of the aisle.

Lighting of the Unity Candle
The lighting of the unity or wedding candle ritual involves three candles. One is for the bride, one for the groom and the third which both Bride and Groom light symbolically uniting the two separate lives into one. Often the parents present the couple with the candles.

Music
When you know where the wedding is going to take place, ask the your clergy or officiant about their guidelines for music. The style and budget of your wedding will tell you how much you can pay for the services of a vocalist, organist and/or musicians. Do not book anyone unless you have heard the person sing or perform. When you are interviewing, ask them to suggest music for the prelude, processional, ceremony and recessional. There are also several wedding song books in the library or in your local Chapters stores, which might be useful.

The Prelude - Traditionally the Prelude music starts a half-hour before the ceremony. This provides a background of music while your guests are taking their seats. Based on the music guidelines you have to follow, you can choose numbers that will augment the theme of your celebration. The tone of your wedding will be set by your musical selections. Select the musicians you feel can carry out your requests. If you are having a printed program at your wedding, list the songs and their composers.

Traditional suggestions include Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring (Cantata No. 147) (Johann Sebastian Bach), My Inmost Heart Rejoiceth (Johannes Brahms) and Saviour, Like a Shepherd Lead Us (William Bradbury). Many young couples, however, prefer popular song selections arranged fro piano or organ.

The Processional - As the mother of the bride is seated, the groom takes his place by the officiant. The organist traditionally allows a proper pause before the music starts for the entrance of the wedding party. More than one selection can be chosen. The selections usually increase in tempo as they are played in order to set a rhythm for the attendants to walk to, and to stimulate the guests' anticipation of the bride's entrance. The music should build to a crescendo for her entry, traditionally this is the Bridal Chorus (Here Comes the Bride) from the opera Lobengrin by Richard Wagner.

Other music selections are your choice. In 1981 when Prince Charles married Lady Diana Spencer he chose The Prince of Denmark's March (Jeremiah Clarke), which has since become a popular selection.

Music during the Ceremony
Depending on the structure of the ceremony, music usually plays an important part. Hymns that are part of a religious service include Alleluia or Holy, Holy, Holy in a Catholic Nuptial Mass, the classic selections Ave Maria (Schubert or Bach-Gounod), Oh Promise Me, Blest Are They and Amazing Grace. You can also decide if you want your guests to participate in singing. If so, list print the words in your program.

Popular contemporary songs for the ceremony are the Bridal Prayer (Roger Copeland), The Gift of Love (Hal Hopson), If We Only Have Love (Jacques Brel), Sunrise, Sunset, Last Night I Had the Strangest Dream I Ever Dreamed (Bob Dylan), The Wedding Song (There is Love) and The Hawaiian Wedding Song to name a few.

The Recessional
Following the signing of the marriage licence the music builds to a joyous triumphant melody that helps the wedding party to march up the aisle. The classics are Pomp and Circumstances No. 4 (Edward Elgar), Trumpet Fanfare (Jean Joseph Mouret), and Ode to Joy from the Ninth Symphony by (Ludwig van Beethoven) as well as the contemporary theme from Chariots of Fire (Vangelis)

Decor
When you are booking the location to have your ceremony, find out what the guidelines are for decorations. Your decor will also depend on the style, theme and budget of your wedding. If you are being married in a place of worship, you can ask if anyone is getting married before you on the same day in case you want to consider sharing costs.

Decorations are used outside of the church or wedding location as well as inside. They can range from arches, canopies and carpets to special props which will introduce your theme to your guests. Inside, the decorations could include the ceremonial floral arrangements - either real or silk flowers, decorations with glorious ribbons, candles, markers on the pews such as giant bows, ribbons, flowers or creations that denote your theme, and aisle runners.

If you're having a garden wedding, such features as arches, a canopy, decorative trellis or gazebo can establish a pretty place for the ceremony. These can often be rented for the occasion.

Depending on your budget, red runners on the grass or path can simulate your aisle and large bows on the aisle chairs to mark your rows.

www.WeddingsHoneymoons.com | April 9, 2008

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