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| ENGAGEMENT ANNOUNCEMENT

Your Engagement Announcement

THE ANNOUNCEMENT
There is no set time to announce your engagement. Some announcements are made when a couple becomes engaged. Other couples make the official announcement between three to six months before the wedding. There is also no set way to do it. It can be done at a dinner, over the phone, by faxes or e-mail, by writing notes or by placing formal announcements. If either of you has children, obviously they should be told first. Parents usually come next (since they'll tell other relatives) and then friends and co-workers.
The most popular way to announce your engagement is to run an announcement in the newspaper. Do not send out a printed or engraved engagement announcement; it will only look as if you are looking for engagement gifts. Traditionally, the Bride's parents do the announcement, however, these days couples announce for themselves as well. First call your local newspaper and contact the lifestyle or society desk to be sent their guidelines for copy, deadlines, a photograph and their rates. Here are the basics:

Announcement copy: It is better to send typed information, double spaced to avoid errors in spelling or locations. Do not give information over the telephone. Be sure to add your telephone number and ask if you can see a proof before it is scheduled to appear in the newspaper. The newspaper announcement does not have include your wedding date - that's up to you. Before you send in your copy make sure all your names are spelled right. Both families should see the typed announcement copy to make sure all the facts and spellings are right. This way there are no surprises and disappointments.

Style of the newspaper engagement announcement:
General: Mr. and Mrs. (Parents of the Bride) of (city, province) are pleased to announce the engagement of their daughter (first and middle name) to (groom's full name), son of Mr. and Mrs. (Full name) of (city, province).

Option paragraph:
Miss/Ms. (Bride's last name) and Mr. (Groom's last name) plan to marry (date or in the spring, etc.)
If you want to add schools and/or places of employment: Miss/Ms. (Bride) is a graduate of (college/university) and currently (studying/working) in (type of work) at (school/company). Mr. (Groom) is a graduate of (college/university) and currently (studying/working) in (type of school/work) at (school/company)

Variations:
There are no set rules on additional material except that anyone the Bride or Groom want listed in their announcement should be identified correctly. Therefore, when you are preparing your announcement make sure everyone you have mentioned has an opportunity to see it beforehand.

Deceased parents: Miss/Ms. (Bride) is also the daughter of the late Mrs./Mr. (Bride's last name) of (city, province)

Remarried parents: Mrs./Mr. (Bride's married parent) of (city, province) announce the engagement of her/his daughter (Bride's name), daughter of the late (Bride's late parent)

Widowed father: include the Bride's deceased mother=s given, maiden and married names.

Divorced parents who have not remarried: if the Bride wants both of her divorced parents on the invitation list the mother's name first.

Divorced parents who have remarried: if the bride wants both of her divorced parents on the invitation, her mother's new married name comes first, then her father, then "request the honor of your presence at the marriage of their daughter ___________", etc. If either set of parents are hosting with their new spouses, the invitation may read Mr. and Mrs., etc.

Couples making announcement: The engagement between (Bride's full name) to (Groom's full name) is announced. The future Bride, daughter of (Bride's parents names) of (city, province) is (going to school/working at)
Mr. (Groom's name) is the son of (groom=s parents name) of (city/province) and is (attending school/working) at . . . etc.

Second-marriage Announcement: (Bride's full name) and (Groom's full name) plan to marry (date if known). The future Bride, daughter of (Bride's parents names) of (city/province) is (attending/working) at (school/work). Mr. (Groom's full name) is (attending/working) at (school/work) . . . etc. His parents (names), reside in (city/province)
Other information that may be with announcements include special clubs, military service the ceremony site, the officiant's name, description of the bridal gown, honeymoon destination and where you will reside after your wedding.

Engagement photo:
If you are going to submit an engagement photo to go with your announcement you need a black and white photo to get the best results in a newspaper. When you are having the photographs taken make sure your photographer knows you are gong to submit one with your announcement. He can either shoot your photos in black and white or, if you choose one in color you like, the best thing is to have the photographer make a black and white print of it. This is better than submitting a color print to the newspaper and their having to reproduce it in black and white. (The newspaper will not spend as much time adjusting your color photograph to black and white as your photographer will.)
Before you hire a photographer, let him know your plans for all the photos. Most papers ask for a 5" x 7". Make sure your names are on the back of the photo (don't press down hard on the back if you are writing your names). When you put your photo into an envelope to mail, be sure to insert cardboard to support your photo. On the outside of the envelope mark PHOTO - PLEASE DO NOT BEND. If you wish your photo to be returned, supply the newspapers with a stamped addressed envelope. Be sure to put this request in your covering letter.
If you are emailing the photo to the newspaper get their format requirements i.e., size, tiff or jpg, and resolution.

THE ENGAGEMENT PARTY
Traditionally, the Bride's parents host the engagement party in their home. The party can take any form - from a brunch or a barbeque outside to a formal dinner. Today, with so many different lifestyles it might be the groom=s parents or other family members or close friends who hold the event.
If you want to send written or printed invitations for the party they may be formal or informal. They can read "You are invited to a party in honor of (Bride's name and Groom's name)". At some point during the party, the Bride's father (or mother) will make the "official" announcement in a toast and will welcome the future son-in-law into the family. If the Groom's parents are there, they should be introduced next.
If you receive any gifts at your engagement party, send a thank-you note promptly. Gifts aren't expected and should be opened in private so as not to embarrass guests who did not bring anything. Also, send thank-you notes to the hosts of your party, even if they were your parents. It's about time you did something nice for them, isn't it?

BROKEN ENGAGEMENT
If an engagement is broken, all gifts must be returned with a note from you or the groom, depending on who received the gift. You only need to supply a simple note saying that "regretfully, ________ and ________ have broken the engagement. Therefore, I am returning your gift."

ETIQUETTE
Traditionally, after both sets of parents have been told about the engagement, it is customary for the Groom's mother or father to call the Bride's parents in order to welcome the new daughter into their family. If circumstances are different in your family, be sensitive to other people's feelings, but remember it's your marriage and try to stay realistic about other people's emotions. You are making a big change in your life and in the lives of everyone who loves you and is close to you. Time usually takes care of feelings. If you are undertaking a traditional wedding that takes over a year to plan, you should have enough time to smooth out all the rough edges.
Depending on the size of your wedding party, each person has assigned duties.

The Bride
Following the selection of her dress or gown and accessories, the Bride decides upon the style of her wedding and her color theme so that the rest of the wedding party may select their garments - Mothers, Maid of Honor, Attendants and Flower Girl or Boy.

The Groom
Following the selection of his attire, he gives the information to his Best Man, Groomsmen , Ushers and Ring Bearer.
The Groom should choose his Best Man carefully because he is the person who sees that everything runs smoothly. The Best Man makes sure the Groomsmen (ushers) appear on time for fittings and that the sizes are right. He takes part in selecting wedding presents, especially for the Groom, and he's with the Groom at pre-wedding parties. The Best Man makes sure everyone in the wedding party arrives on time for the rehearsal and ceremony. He assists the Groom in making travel arrangements for their honeymoon. Before the ceremony, he has made a check list of things he needs at the ceremony, reception and honeymoon. At the ceremony he escorts the Bride's parents down the aisle, seating them in the front row, left; and the Groom's parents to the front row, right. He is in charge of the ushers, an official witness to the vows, carries the rings and marriage licence and pays the clergy's fee.
At the reception the Best Man proposes a toast at the bridal table. After the wedding, he returns all the rented tuxes worn by members of the wedding party and if there is going to be a wedding parade of cars from the ceremony site to the reception venue, he coordinates the vehicles.
For the honeymoon, he has makes sure the Groom has his money, charge cards, passport, driver's license, luggage, phone numbers for emergency (theoretically, the groom is too overcome with bliss to look after such details). Obviously you need a dependable best man.

The Bride's Family
The Bride's mother traditionally selects her dress first and then lets the Groom's mother know what she is wearing.
The Bride and/or her mother hosts the Bridal Luncheon. The Bride's gifts are on display at her family home. The Bride's Mother hosts and/or makes arrangements for their out-of-town guests.

The Groom's Family
If the Groom's family are going to help with expenses for the wedding or honeymoon, they should make the offer of the amount to assist the couple in their planning and budgeting. When the size of the wedding is decided, their guest list should be given to the Bride's family as soon as possible.
The Groom's mother waits until the Bride's Mother selects her dress. The style and colors should not conflict.

The Maid or Matron of Honor is usually a family member of the Bride or one of her very best friends. She has several duties beginning with helping to choose, address, stuff and mail the wedding invitations. She records all the gifts given to the Bride at the engagement parties and showers. She usually plans one of the showers for the Bride. She works closely with the Bride at the rehearsal and keeps checking her list of things to do and adjusting it as required. On the wedding day, she distributes all the corsages and boutonnières and helps dress the Bride and bridesmaids.
During the ceremony, she holds the Bride's bouquet and makes sure the Bride's gown and train are arranged properly. She also makes sure that the bridesmaids, flower girl and ring bearer are always in their right places. She also holds the Groom's ring. The Maid of Honor is an official witness to the vows along with the Best Man. If the Bride is leaving from the reception for her honeymoon she helps her change into her going-away outfit and makes sure her bridal gown and accessories are put away safely.

Groomsmen/Ushers:
Groomsmen make sure the bridesmaids and special guests have transportation to the ceremony site.
At the ceremony site, the groomsmen greet the guests. If there aren't any ushers in the wedding party, the groomsmen seat the guests as well. Traditionally, the Bride's guests are seated on her left side and the groom's are on his right side. Before the ceremony, two of the groomsmen seat the Groom's mother and then the Bride's mother; after the ceremony they escort them up the aisle. They assist the Bride's mother with last-minute details and introduce guests to each other. If there are reserved pews other than the first two for the close family, invited guests hand a pew card to the usher. Two ushers lay down the floor runner.

Bridesmaids:
The Bride calls upon bridesmaids before the wedding to do several things for her, such as helping with the invitations, making anything that is going to be used for the wedding and running errands, especially during the last two weeks. The bridesmaids usually assist in all the showers that are being held for the Bride. At the ceremony, they do not have any official duties, but they usually assist the groomsmen in introducing guests to each other and ensure that all the guests are having a good time at the reception.

In-laws
Just as there are no two weddings that are alike, there also are no parents who are alike. Having said that, there are several scenarios which can develop. Ideally, everything is 100 per cent and each of the families welcome the new addition (Bride or Groom) to their family.
Or, problems arise because you're the first in the family to get married and they are having a hard time coping with it. Or, you're not marrying the fellow they feel you should be. Or, they feel you are too young to be married and would prefer you to finish school or be older or have a more secure job.
Your in-laws could be divorced or one of you could of been raised by a step parent - and these conditions could set up another chain of elements you have to deal with throughout your planning.
During your engagement, your future in-laws may be meeting your family and friends for the first time. There are several ways to "break the ice" - intimate dinners in homes, fun barbeques in back yards, picnics or a formal get-together at a club. If your attitude and thinking starts out right, and when you begin to include in-laws in your planning, they'll probably be just fine at your wedding reception.
If you anticipate any problems with your parents over your upcoming wedding, then be prepared for the worst. Time has a way of settling everything, but perhaps not before your wedding day. You don't want any hard feelings to come between you and your betrothed. Therefore, if parents from either side are not happy with your upcoming wedding, try to set that problem aside, go on with your plans and deal with practical problems rather than spend time worrying about what you imagine.

TIP:
It is proper to call your fiancé's parents "Mr. and Mrs" until they ask you to call them something else, i.e. "Mom" and "Dad" or by their first names.

Weddings that are postponed or cancelled
If you postpone your wedding before your invitations go out, it is easy and proper to call your family and close friends to let them know. If the invitations are printed and you've set a new date, it is acceptable to change the date by hand. (You might also want to insert a note on why you've changed the date.)
If you have cancelled your wedding plans and the invitations have gone out, call your family and friends and be prepared for some long conversations, usually sympathetic. For those who are out of town, write them a note.

www.WeddingsHoneymoons.com | March 25, 2008

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